The most cringe-worthy Fast and Furious quotes (with screenshots!)

Fast and Furious what’s the retail on one of those quote

Ask any racer and he’ll tell you: it’s not how you stand by your car, it’s how accurately you spew Fast and Furious quotes in daily conversation. Or something like that.

Having been an automotive blogger for as long as I have, I am not embarrassed to admit that one of my favorite movies of all times is The Fast and the Furious (the original one released in 2001). I know. It’s cheesy. Highly inaccurate. Perhaps even cringey at times.

However, for automotive enthusiasts like me, it’s a highly-entertaining (and artistic) representation of who we are. I mean, what’s not to like about a movie that over-exaggerated car culture so much that even non-car people became interested in the hobby?

Even though it can be argued that some of the exaggeration was way over the top, there’s something good that came from doing that: lots of good quotes. Quotes that I still use in my daily life as an adult while going through my midlife crisis.

An oversimplified summary of the plot of The Fast and the Furious

Look. The Fast and the Furious wasn’t made to be a perfect example of cinematic art. The plot was extremely simple. It was written to entertain a youthful audience, and therefore, they had to use some creative liberties here and there to keep it entertaining.

Fast and Furious adrenaline rush quote
I was today years old when I realized that Letty was holding up her middle finger when betting $2,000 on a race at Race Wars. See? All the work it took to get screenshots for this article was worth it!

It got cheesy at times. As a matter fact, it’s probably the best definition of “cheesy entertainment” that we’ve had in the past 20 years. Want proof? The following is my summary of the plot of The Fast and the Furious. Try not to groan as you’re reading it:

  • The main character Brian O’Conner (played by Paul Walker) is an undercover cop who inserts himself into LA’s underground street racing scene in order to solve a crime spree which involves a team of 3 fairly stock-looking Honda Civic‘s hijacking trucks filled with electronics.
  • Brian tries his best to position himself as one of the most competitive street racers in LA (with a relatively stock-looking Mitsubishi Eclipse with lots of stickers and bolt-on modifications).
  • He befriends Dominic Toretto (Dom), the supposed leader of it all. Dom is Brian’s primary suspect for the hijackings.
  • As the movie progresses, Brian finds himself stuck between doing his job as an undercover cop and forming a bond with Dom (and his sister).
  • This conflict of interest is causing problems for the LAPD, and they give Brian an ultimatum: solve the crime or risk being reprimanded.
  • Brian gets aggressive, and eventually discovers that Dom and his gang are indeed the hijackers.
  • The movie ends with the LAPD making their move on Dom. Brian tries to persuade Dom to surrender before they arrive, but is unsuccessful.
  • Brian lets Dom go before the cops arrive. Brian tells the cops: “Opps. Sorry. My bad. He got away.”

For those of you who have seen the movie (is there anyone who hasn’t), you’ll likely agree with me that it was a stupid movie. Stupid as in “dumb“, as well as stupid as in “stupid good.” It’s the kind of movie that everyone says they hate, but actually likes (a lot) in secret.

All the best Fast and Furious quotes – including some that you may have even forgotten about

Here’s the thing. As cheesy (and fun) as it was, there aren’t very many Fast and Furious quotes that will go down in history as some of the best ever heard in cinema.

The fact of the matter is that the best quotes from this movie are the cheesiest.

Again, I’m not hating on the movie. It does have its place as being one of the best automotive movies of all time. At least in terms of quality entertainment and good fun. Here are the best quotes from the fast and the furious (according to me at least):

Fast and Furious tuna on white quote
Mia: “Tuna on white, no crust. Right?”
Fast and Furious how's the tuna quote
Brian: “I don’t know, how is it?”
Fast and Furious crappy tuna quote
Mia: “Every day for the last 3 weeks you’ve been coming in here and you’ve been asking me how the tuna is, now, it was crappy yesterday, it was crappy the day before, and guess what? It hasn’t changed.”
Fast and Furious I’ll have the tuna quote
Brian: “I’ll have the tuna.”
Fast and Furious I like the tuna here quote
“I like the tuna here.”
Fast and Furious nobody likes the tuna here quote
“Bullshit asshole, nobody likes the tuna here!”
Fast and Furious serial killer quote
Brian Earl Spilner. Sounds like a serial killer name, is that what you are?”
fast and furious it's not how you stand by your car quote
“You know, everyone happens to know a few things. And one of the things that we knows is, it’s not how you stand by your car. It’s how you race your car. You better learn that.”
fast and furious skanks quote
“I smell…*sniff*…skanks.”
fast and furious pink slips quote
“Hey wait, hold up. I don’t have any cash, but I do have the pink slip to my car.”
Fast and Furious respect quote
“So check it out, it’s like this: I lose, winner takes my car clean and clear. But if I win, I take the cash, and I take the respect. To some people that’s more important.”
Fast and Furious Jesse quote
Jesse: “I see a cool air intake, it’s got a N.O.S. fogger system, and a T-4 turbo, Dominic. I see an AIC controller, it has direct port nitrous injection…”
Fast and Furious not a bad way to spend $10,000 quote
Dom: “…and a stand alone fuel-management system. Not a bad way to spend $10,000.”
Fast and Furious dude I almost had you quote
“Dude, I almost had you!”
Fast and Furious granny shifting quote
“…Granny shifting, not double clutching like you should…”
Fast and Furious winnings winning quote
“Ask any racer. Any real racer. It don’t matter if you win by an inch or a mile – winning’s winning.”
Fast and Furious NOS quote
“N.O.S.!”
Fast and Furious buster quote
“Yo Dom! Why you’d bring the buster here?”
Fast and Furious busta quote
“Because the buster kept me out of handcuffs!”
Fast and Furious Corona quote
“You can have any brew you want – as long as it’s a Corona.”
Fast and Furious you owe me a 10-second car quote
“Yo. You know you owe me a 10-second car, right?”
Fast and Furious I’m gonna need another car quote
“Hey Tanner – I’m gonna need another car.”
Fast and Furious prayer quote
“Dear heavenly uh…spirit. Thank you for providing us with the direct port nitrous…uh…injection, 4 core intercoolers, ball bearing turbos, and um…titanium valve springs. Thank you.”
Fast and Furious you know I gotta eat quote
“You know I gotta eat.”
Fast and Furious he owns you now quote
“He owns you now.”
Fast and Furious kiss my shoes quote
“Ted. Kiss my shoes?”
Fast and Furious you should be going to MIT quote
Brian: “Man, you should be going to MIT or something.”
Fast and Furious attention disorder quote
Jesse: “Yeah, right. No, I got that…oh, what’s it called…that attention disorder…”
Fast and Furious A.D.D. quote
Brian: “A.D.D.?”
Fast and Furious something about engines that calms me down quote
Jesse: “Yes, that shit. And I was good in algebra, and like math and shit. And everything else I failed. I dropped out of school. I don’t know…it’s just something about engines that calms me down, you know?”
Fast and Furious what’s the retail on one of those quote
“Nice car! What’s the retail on one of those?”
Fast and Furious more than you can afford pal quote
“More than you can afford pal! Ferrari.”
Fast and Furious smoke him quote
“Smoke him.”
Fast and Furious don’t lose that cool of yours quote
“Brian, don’t lose that cool of yours. That’s your meal ticket.”
Fast and Furious I'm not stupid quote
“I’m not stupid, alright? I know that there’s no way in hell that you paid for all the shit that’s under the hood of those cars by doing tune ups and selling groceries. Now whatever it is that you’re in on it too!”
Fast and Furious adrenaline rush quote
“If you want ass, why don’t you hit Hollywood Blvd? If you want an adrenaline rush, it’ll be 2 large. Right here, right now. What’s it gonna be?”
Fast and Furious I bet you he’s got more than a hundred grand underneath the hood of that car quote
“Jesse, don’t do it. I bet you he’s got more than a hundred grand underneath the hood of that car!”
Fast and Furious disrespected my whole family quote
“Toretto! Toretto! SWAT came into my house, disrespected my whole family, and somebody narced me out! And you know what? It was you!”
Fast and Furious I live my life a quarter mile at a time quote
“I live my life a quarter mile at a time.”
Fast and Furious for those 10 seconds or less, I’m free quote
“For those 10 seconds or less, I’m free.”
Fast and Furious I’m off duty LAPD quote
“I’m off duty LAPD!”
Fast and Furious on green, I’m going for it quote
“On green, I’m going for it.”

How I use quotes from The Fast and the Furious in my daily life

Rattling off quotes from The Fast and the Furious in my daily life is something that’s been happening since the very first time I saw this movie way back in 2001. Even as a grown man, I’m not afraid to admit that there are some useful quotes from this movie that can be used to express myself in daily life:

  • Whenever I encounter a road closure sign while driving: “The road is closed pizza boy! Find another way home.”
  • Whenever trying to unsuccessfully merge in front of someone on the freeway: “I almost had you!”
  • When I find myself bouncing around between projects: “Yeah, I got that… A.D.D… shit.”
  • When driving in stop-and-go traffic: “I live my life a quarter-mile at a time.”
  • Whenever I find myself with a free moment: “For those 10 seconds or less, I’m free.”
  • Whenever I’m thinking about buying something that’s way out of my price range: “You can’t afford it, pal.”
  • Whenever I see a cheaply-modified car on the road: “I’ll bet he’s got $100,000 under the hood of that car!”

Oddly enough, there weren’t very many notable quotes from the main character of this movie (Brian). Paul Walker played this role very well in my opinion, and it’s unfortunate that didn’t have very many great lines.

Why was this movie so significant for automotive culture?

Prior to 2001, there had been very few mainstream Hollywood movies with an automotive theme. The Fast and the Furious broke the mold by exposing (and glamorizing) the underground street racing scene that has been going on (for decades) in major cities around the world.

The way that this movie sparked a massive increase in the ricer culture here in the US was significant. It was fairly obvious that most casual viewers of this movie had no idea how organized the underground street racing scene realty was at the time. Not only that, they wanted to be a part of it.

The Fast and the Furious glamorized all this in a way which (unfortunately) ended up being too aggressive. Anyone who has been involved in any legit street racing knows that it’s actually nothing like it was depicted in the movie.

However, despite a sudden uptick in illegal street racing (and ricer culture) immediately after the release of the movie, it was nice to see so many people become interested in cars. The influx of non-car people who started modifying their clapped-out Honda Civic‘s and Nissan Maxima‘s was fun to watch. Not only because it was stupid, but because automotive culture had just hit the main stream. Suddenly, car people like me weren’t viewed as being so weird anymore…

Was The Fast and The Furious the movie that was responsible for getting me into cars?

Nope. However, it did reinvigorate my lifelong passion for all things automotive. At the time, I was driving a 1998 Dodge neon R/T. Sure, I wanted something more sporty and fun, but there really wasn’t much available in 2001.

Fast cars weren’t as easily available back then as they are today, which was bad news for me. I was busy with work at the time, and I didn’t want to deal with the hassle of building a “slow and boring” car into something “boring and somewhat fast”.

Even though I didn’t go out and buy a new car (or start modifying the Neon that I already had), I did start reading car forums again. I also got back into drawing cars, which is something that I hadn’t done since childhood.

That passion for all things automotive kept burning, and in 2010 I launched DriveAndReview.com (the blog you’re reading now).

The Fast and the Furious will always be one of my all-time favorite movies. Although I resisted the urge to slap stickers all over my Neon at the time, it did provide me with a collection of really good quotes that could be applied to nearly any situation in life. For that reason alone, The Fast and the Furious gets five well-earned stars for me. I simply don’t care how cheesy it may be is.

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